That moment that is probably a goodbya

So, you know that you are the topic of my therapy, today we discussed if you know what and we concluded that you are my trigger.

Unfortunately now you represent all my frustations and failures, you are not the one to be blamed ( mad max quote), but  same times your actions make me going to that unhappy place.

We had 3 bad conversations and in everyone of then tou said that it wont work, you say that I'm not strong but i was persistent and tried again and again. Now I know that you already made you mind a long time ago and “hold the door”.

Now Im sick, I feel sad, hopeless and ugly, I dont feel beautiful or confident. I dont make plans...I'm alive but not living. And more important I don't wanna be sad when thinking about you, I want you to be in my “special person” spot.

Saying all that, I won't see you when you come to Rio, I won't talk to you and a I will try not even think about you. Alex my plan for 2017 is get over you. I don't wanna be sad anymore, you cant be my bad trigger, you are too special.

I know you love me in you own and unique way, so I hope that you respect my decision, I need time, a long time to heal, and then if you agreed we can be friends. Maybe until there we will have already find someone to fulfill our desire, but that doesn't matter for friendship.

I will love you forever in one way or another.